Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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