This girl is more easily done than said...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
