The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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