Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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