Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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