yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
