how can u be prego again
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
