those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
