Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
