i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
