I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
