PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
