If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
