Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
