I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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