I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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