I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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