This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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