put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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