the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
All I want is dick and wine.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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