I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
