That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
