sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
