i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
