hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
