May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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