sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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