I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
