Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
