yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
