White coat. Heels.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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