i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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