I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
