I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
