I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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