when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
