She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
