and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
