Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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