The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
But theres a keg here and me gusta
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
