OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
