I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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