ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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