return my video game
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
