i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
