His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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