You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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