There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
