Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
