Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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