it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
