Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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